What makes an up an up and a down a down is that an up can do more to a down than a down can do to an up. That's what keeps an up up and a down down. The ups tend to talk to each other and study the downs, asking the downs about what's up, or what's coming down for that matter. The downs spend a lot of time taking the ups out to lunch, to dinner, to explain their downness. The ups listen attentively, often in amazement about the experiences of being a down. They contrast one down's experience with another down's experience and at times don't worry too much about what the downs are up to because the downs never get together. If they did, the ups would have to shape up.

After awhile, the downs weary of talking to the ups. They tire of explaining and justifying their downness. They think, "If I have to explain my downness one more time, I'll throw up." And so they form a process which they call "networking and support groups." This act makes the ups nervous. Three ups together is a board meeting; three downs, prerevolutionary activity. Some ups hire downs, dress them up, send them down to see what the downs are up to. We sometimes call this "personnel and affirmative action." This creates a serious problem for the down who is dressed up with no sure place to go. That down doesn't know whether he or she is up or down. That's why downs in the middle often burn out.

Sometimes what the ups do to smarten up is to ask the downs to come in to a program one at a time to explain their downness. The ups call this "human relations training." Of course the ups never have to explain their upness, that's why they're ups rather than downs.

There's good news and bad news in this parable. The good news is, we're all both ups and downs. There's no such thing as a perfect up or a perfect down. The bad news is that when we're up it often makes up stupid. We call that "dumb-upness." It's not because ups are not smart. It's that ups don't have to pay attention to downs the way downs have to pay attention to ups. Downs always have to figure out what ups are up to. The only time ups worry about down is when downs get uppity, at which time they're put down by the ups. The ups perception is that downs are overly sensitive; they have an attitude problem. It is never understood that ups are underly sensitive and have an attitude problem.

I used to think that when downs became ups they would carry over their insight from their downness to their upness. Not so. Smart down--dumb up.

A discussion of this parable from the blog "Stuff White People Do."